Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
