ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
