It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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