Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
