I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's just like the Real World with babies
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
