You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
