i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
