In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
