Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
