I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
