I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
