i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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