She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
