i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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