sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize