if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
