it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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