btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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