fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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