I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her vagine was all disorganized.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
