around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize