forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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