I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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