He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
