hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
