yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
