apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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