So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
