what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
