dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
