You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
