Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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