he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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