i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
