just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
