Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
