end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
