He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Randomize
