don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
