I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
