god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize