Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they need to just BURY HIM!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
