did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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