Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
