Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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