Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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