i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
