Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
