kristin has been a bad kristin
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
