i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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