At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
