Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
