can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
