im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
