also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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