i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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