I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
