I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
