brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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