It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
found the other keg... it's in the tree
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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