Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
