you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I still have a little drunk in my system
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
