Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
