i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
