Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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