i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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